Are you and your partner struggling to see eye-to-eye?
Have you tried to talk through your problems but feel like nothing is changing?
Is your partner resisting or refusing to give couples counseling a chance?
Most couples go through rocky periods during their relationship. Sometimes conflict is triggered by a specific event. Other times, it’s seemingly out of nowhere. Regardless of how you came to this point, you and your partner may be unable to communicate productively. Perhaps you are arguing more frequently or feel a distance between you that wasn’t there before. While this can be overwhelming and frightening, going through a rough patch does not mean your relationship is doomed. Couples counseling is a proven tool that, paired with hard work, can help to improve the understanding, compassion, and love that you already hold for one another. You may even emerge from counseling a stronger couple than ever before.
Signs that It’s Time to Seek Couples or Marriage Counseling
There are many reasons that motivate partners to seek out a Couples Counselor. You and/or your partner may be…
- Constantly bickering
- Barely speaking to each other
- Having or considering an affair
- Lying about finances or spending habits
- Arguing about the same thing over and over again
- Dissatisfied with sex and physical intimacy
- Considering ending the relationship
Counseling can help repair & heal broken relationships. The things listed above may make your relationship feel miserable. Yet, our counselors have seen couples overcome these difficulties and strengthen their marriage or relationship. You can reconnect with your partner, improve your relationship and find happiness in your marriage again!
Common Reasons People Resist Couples & Marriage Counseling
Unfortunately, some individuals are resistant or unwilling to engage in couples counseling. They may feel uncomfortable discussing intimate life details with a stranger, especially if they have never been to counseling or had a bad experience with a former therapist. They may worry that the therapist will “pick a side” and blame or criticize them alone for the problems in the relationship. They may also view couples counseling as a sign of a weak relationship.
An excellent professional therapist will never “take sides” during a session. Couples counseling is designed to be a space where both partners can openly discuss their thoughts, opinions, and feelings. On top of that, investing in the relationship’s health by attending couples therapy is a sign of strength, not weakness. It provides couples with the opportunity to learn healthy communication skills and work together as a team to resolve relationship issues.
How to Approach a Counseling-Resistant Spouse or Partner
Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash
If your partner does not respond positively to the idea of couples counseling, consider reframing how you approach the topic:
- Be direct. Tell your partner that you want to make the relationship work and that counseling could help the relationship move forward positively.
- Do not bring up couples counseling angrily, threateningly, or with an ultimatum. Broaching the idea mid-argument will only make your partner feel more defensive. Instead, do so when you can speak calmly, openly, and cooperatively.
- Do not assign blame. If your partner feels like they will be blamed for your relationship problems during counseling, it is unlikely they will be comfortable attending a session.
- Suggest that you pick a counselor together. This way, your spouse feels included in the process. To get the most out of couples or marriage therapy, it is crucial that you have a couple’s counselor that is a good fit for both of you.
- Convince your partner to try a single session. It’s a lot easier to make a small, time-limited commitment. This way, they don’t feel trapped into making a long-term commitment to counseling before knowing what to expect.
If your partner continues to refuse to try couples counseling, consider seeking out individual counseling for your support.
Begin Marriage & Couples Counseling in St. Pete today for a Healthier Relationship!
We are here to help meet the needs of couples in the St. Petersburg, FL area who want to work through their relationship problems. Contact McNulty Counseling today to begin the journey to better communication and a more harmonious relationship.
Are one of you still unsure about starting marriage counseling? Learn about the benefits of couples & marriage counseling and what to expect from couples counseling on our mental health blog.
